Things that go better with Coke

While working on the car, a friendly cop told me how to fix battery corrosion:

Cop: "Coca-Cola."

Me: "..."

I told the wife about this, and she said to buy a Coke when I purchase the battery. Then she said,

"Imagine what that stuff must be doing to your body!"

Me: "Well, it's a good thing, right? If you swallow battery acid, drink a coke."


That's one coke-and-acid coming right up!

Potential Career: Furby Insurance Salesman

While I was looking for a battery for my car online (the battery is totally corroded, with the casing cracked), my wife observed:

"Car companies know how to make money. They sell you a product that contains lots of hidden costs: replacement parts, repair fees, gas, insurance, etc. You just need to invent a produce that needs to be fed, insured, and so on."

Me: "Hmm... [something like elaborate] beanie babies, furbies..."

Wife: "Furby Insurance!"

Me: "I can see it now--my business card will read, 'Furby Insurance Salesman!'"

Hey, it's odd insights like this that change the world! :-)

So many jobs, so little time

"Time is a luxury you do not have, Captain." -- Khan, Wrath of Khan

So many jobs are out there, yet only a few will serve my family needs. Keep looking for academic work? Maybe adjuncting? How about high school? Publishing?

As any career switcher knows, skills are marketable across a variety of fields. The major challenge, it seems to me, is acquiring the right credentials (like certification to teach high school).

Or choosing a field that won't result in a layoff soon.

Or finding enough income to support a family, in a place with a cost of living that won't wipe out all chance of income.

The only two fields that seem to be growing right now are computers and oil. Hmmm... *does the math* Maybe I should blog about an oilfield. :-D

Cracking me up

My wife dropped an egg on the floor today.

Moral: Don't yolk around. |-D |-D |-D

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I once read in a newspaper that "Yoga" means "yolk."* I hope they weren't implying that yogis are eggheads. "Come on, Humpty Dumpty! Chicken position... balance... oops!"

* It means "yoke," at least in Sanskrit.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Basilica...

Got my family in the car, started to drive to noon Mass, and...

Car died. Wouldn't start. SPLAT!

At least it wasn't on a long road trip. :-)

St. Maximilian Kolbe,* pray for us (and our car).

* Patron saint of technology.

Gratitude Beyond the Platitude: An Attitude of Splatitude

(Prelude: For eleven years, I focused on a job in Academia. Now that dream has eluded me. A cold wind of reality has struck my face, and the only response can be: Gratitude. -- SMAL 4/29/10)

Platitude:

Oh, whoops! That's a Platypus! ;-)

But surely, many of us have heard the phrase, "Have an attitude of gratitude." I know my dad said that at least once. And you're right, Dad. But through overuse, having an attitude of gratitude has become a platitude. (Though not, to my knowledge, a platypus.)

And yet, Life has a way of hitting us in the face--SPLAT! Dreams dashed to the ground, a china vase by an omnipotent and irrestable Zeus in the form of a bull. An entire projected life, abducted like Europa. And...

...what then?

If God exists, and if God loves us, and if God is omnipotent, then all things work for the good of those who love Him. Everything. Every detail of my mundane and recently disappointing life. (50+ rejected work applications. That's more than the number of girls who turned me down for a date in college!) The color of this blog, for example, or the crispness of the grass this morning, while I biked through the searing breeze to my last class of the semester. Of my last class taught at Notre Dame, and possibly the last class I'll teach in my entire career. Farewell, career.

But in the abduction of the dream there must be an act of love, so in the farewell there must be an act of gratitude. And in the face of sorrow, such an act goes beyond the platitude. It goes into "splatitude."

It goes to the point where everytime the pie of life strikes your best suit--SPLAT!--you habitually respond with, "Thank you!" Gratitude.

Splat + Gratitude = Splatitude. Relish the portmanteau. After all, it's a gift. :-)

Deus, nobis ingratis sit splatitudo. Amen.

The Doctor Gets Involved with the Catholic Research Resources Alliance!

*Charleton Heston voiceover*: In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, and darkness covered the abyss.

And then God created order out of chaos, including man; man sinned; God sent a Redeemer, Whose great act of redemption we just celebrated on Sunday; and the Church was born. And grew. And struggled and thrived. And God looked at all that He had made, and behold! It was very good, but there was just one problem.

There was no one to systematically document the Church's development and culture.

And God said, "Let there be the Catholic Research Resources Alliance!"


Yeah, so, this is my new project for a couple of months! The CRRA, or "Catholic Portal" as it's affectionately known, is the brainchild of a group of Catholic-affiliated university libraries that are working to share resources that pertain to Catholic Studies (primarily in America, but not only). Below is an explanation of the project, along with an invitation to contribute to my end of things.

What is the Catholic Portal project? As noted at Villanova's Library blog,

Unlike some other fields of research that are cross-disciplinary in nature there has never been an effort, until now, to collectively identify what may be called Catholica. Catholic Studies in America has certainly grown a great deal as a locus for scholarly research in the last couple of decades and now libraries, rather than creating a single repository, are working together to use current tools and technology to enhance methods for discovering the primary source material. The intent is to aid researchers and students to do the kind of ferreting out of lesser known or little used publications and manuscripts related to the Catholicism.

You can also check out the CRRA Blog, though it doesn't seem to be updated regularly. A sort of "To boldly go!" description of the Catholic Portal comes from their own website:

The Catholic intellectual tradition and the scholarship which studies and presents it encompass the experience of a flourishing Church currently made up of a billion human beings who live on every continent and whose history reaches back over two millennia. [Cue Star Trek/2001 theme music. --S.L.] With a vision of ensuring permanent global access to all Catholic research resources reflecting this tradition, whether in print, digital, or other formats, leaders from eight Catholic universities (Boston College, The Catholic University of America, Georgetown University, Marquette University, University of Notre Dame, St. Edwards University, University of San Diego, and Seton Hall University) in the United States formed the Catholic Research Resources Alliance (CRRA).

The mission of the CRRA is to provide enduring global access to Catholic research resources. Our immediate focus [i.e., the "Prime Directive"--S.L.] is creating access to those rare, unique and uncommon research materials relating to every aspect of the Catholic experience, which are held by Catholic college, university, and seminary libraries and archives in North America. While abundant in quantity, these resources are scattered among the many special collections and archives. All too often the existence of these rare, unique and uncommon research resources is documented only in the mind of the archivist or librarian. We are all poorer for our collective inability to find the knowledge of our predecessors.

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My role in all this is still evolving, but at present it appears to involve the following:

1. To explore strange new worlds... of interface design (for the portal website proper).
2. To seek out new life and new civilizations... of Catholic resources. Though it says above that the CRRA is focusing on collections at Catholic institutions, my work at the moment is not limited to these. That is, as long as a resource is Catholic-related, it's of interest to me. Not all may in the end be included in the CRRA, but I'm collecting as many as I can find. You can help me (see below).
3. To boldly go where no split infinitive and gender-neutral pronoun has gone before!
   

How you can help:

I'm collecting resources that focus on Catholic culture proper--that is, that are not simply Catholic in nature or origin, but that are substantial sources of information on the faith and its associated culture. (Whether they are transusbstantial or consubstantial sources is up for debate.) ;-) Examples might include encyclopedias, publishers, newspapers, journals, as well as any place that makes these available. By "substantial" I mean large and relatively long-lasting (so that I can argue for their inclusion in the CRRA).

Especially welcome: rare, unique, or otherwise exceptional sources that refer to the following:

1. Catholic education
2. Catholic intellectual life
3. Catholic literary figures
4. Catholic liturgy and devotion
5. Catholic missions
6. Catholic social action
7. Diocesan collections, including papers of Bishops
8. Men's religious orders
9. Peace building
10. Religion and citizenship
11. Vatican II
12. Women's religious orders

Is there a Catholic resource that you know, love, and/or serve in this life? (I don't think I can get away with "and be happy with in the next." Since we'll all see all knowledge in the Beatific Vision, there won't be much need for library resources. Though perhaps one could characterize God as that which all library resources signify and towards which they all tend.) Leave it in the comments. Disclaimer: All comments become my immediate property to dispose of as I please, without any compensation. There is no guarantee that I will act on any comments or that resources you might suggest will be accepted by the CRRA.